I was once pulled over for driving on the carpool lane by myself, but the cop didn’t know I was receiving road-head from my girlfriend and he asked where she came from. I looked him in the eyes gave him somewhat of a signal and there was an awkward pause. He stepped back and said “Drive safely now.”
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via 4gifs)
So in one week we’ve got three cannibal cases in Florida, a man spitting blood all over a highway patrol officer, another man disemboweling himself and then throwing his intestines at two police officers, and a woman beheading her infant and eating it’s brain…….
IS THIS TRUE?!!
(via no-comment-is-a-comment)
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
(via no-comment-is-a-comment)
(via tragicflaww)
okay so what just happened?
Bird wasn’t strutting her stuff as hard as she could on the corner that weekend?
(Source: College Humor)
Probably got the biggest laugh of my HONY career when I asked for this guy’s story, and he answered in a complete deadpan: “Just running for President.” He then handed me a description of his platform, which among other things, included “a free pony for every American.”
I hate when people disrespect teachers for no reason
Especially the really nice ones that pass you just for showing up
like really, are you that much of an asshole? They’re just trying to do their job
(via tublicalor)
Pickachu Meltdown
Red Bull comes out of the ceiling sprinklers, which is great during Finals, but only fuels the flames of a fire.
(Source: College Humor)
